Thumbelina (1994)

Review Thumbelina

Horrible watch, wont watch again, and dont let people watch this. Almost everything past the premise of this movie is confusing and ridiculous, starting with the spelling, ThumbElina? It should be ThumbAlina, thats a nit pick, but it honestly made the movie harder to find. I love the premise of a tiny person birthed to a wanting mother, but after that, the problems set in. Lets start with birthed she didnt magically appear out of the air, she wasnt born, she crawled out of a flower as a tiny adult, wearing a dress, and able to talk. This is some fey granted wish nonsense if I ever saw one. I understand using the name Thumbelina to describe her size, as Fingerling would probably be inappropriate, but she is perilously tiny able to be crushed without notice, any big animal (duck, goose, cow, horse) will eat her without noticing, she should have drowned in the first act, twice I think, the wind alone would sweep her away, though she doesnt have to worry about falling to her death. This girl is short to Tinkerbell, who is at least 6 inches, and Thumbelina is about 2 inches (and a half, maybe), so shes only coming up to Tinks booty. The movie never clearly demonstrates this and morphs her body size anywhere up to a foot based on the needs of the scene. Bugs that wear clothes, with human eyes and teeth dont bother me, I get that because they dont have faces that translate, but amphibians and birds with very human teeth and tongues (geese have their own teeth) is disturbing, and that swallow was downright horrifying. It is a BIRD, the pinnacle of aerodynamic nature in, not only, boots, shirt, and a hat, but GLOVES, it may be the most distracting thing Ive ever seen. Even when you anthropomorphize a bird to use their wings as hands, gloves dont make any sense if they fly. It was honestly worst than frog breasts, which I cant stand just as much, they just werent as frequent. Then there are lots of (horny) bugs, but then there are bumble bees that act like dogs, but should be loyal to their queen, not a fairy. We can blame fey magic, but since he has his own wings, he shouldnt RIDE it. Now, the actual story it makes sense to split up the nature dynamics into nationalities, and the world is crafted in some detail, but why did they chose these details. We basically have a Spanish prince, a beetle pimp, a french...hobo(?) swallow, a mole that is a wealthy business man, and then the fairy kingdom which makes the most sense, other than they fail to have nature gradually deliver winter (why theyre in charge, I dont know) and suddenly murder anyone who hasnt sheltered. This movie has a problematic feminist story shes born looking for companionship. She gets desperate for anyone, then wants a prince, so she doesnt even necessarily want the only guy shes ever seen, until she knows hes the prince and he promises her all this stuff. Then shes kidnapped, force on stage for entertainment (strips), led poorly by the hobo swallow, and pressured to marry the mole, but then marries the guy that sort of looks like her, and then he changes her to be just like him. Just watch Fern Gully or any of the Disney fairy stuff instead, please.

Review by Kamurai